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 The
South End String Band resides in the old growth nettle
region of the labyrinthine South End. We have been making
old time fiddle music for as long as Skeeter Daddle has been
making moonshine, which is, by South End chronology, a very
long time indeed. At one time we played on our shacks'
porches, content to while away a soggy evening with
neighbors and friends. But as the Band grew, the porches
became cramped, the arguments grew more vicious, the lies
swelled from harmless exaggerations to preposterous
prevarications, and quite frankly the neighbors complained
and no friends remained. The South End String Band was
forced to hit the road... With eleven so-called musicians, we knew fiscal viability was never an option. We played in the parking lots of Tyee Grocery, the South End Diner, Elger Bay Grocery, any place we could find an unwilling audience, even if they continually drove off. We played for the Mabana Flames, the Camano Country Club, the FireFighter's Benefit, the Historical Society, the Madrona Home for the Hopelessly Infirm, the South Grange, the Senior Center's Fundraisers, the Pebble Beach Runaway Adult Retreat, the Josephine Sunset Home. Needless to say, we were never invited back. But then again, half of them never invited us in the first place, so fair is fair. We are a Band on a mission. We wanted to bring our homegrown, homemade, homespun halfbaked, half-fast music to the masses desperate for an antidote to television and shopping malls and fast food and video games. We wanted to prove that the old time fiddle tunes were a panacea for the electronic anomie of modern times. We wanted to provide a wholesome, family oriented entertainment to the hungering islanders who emigrated from the gaudy neon lights of Smokey Point, Lynnwoodopolis and Stanwood and Gomorrah. Of course when that didn't work, we decided to become a Band with a Social Conscience. We have begun a Works Program to bring jobs to the economically distressed South End. We are actively sponsoring the Big Dig public works project to connect Saratoga Passage and Elger Bay to Port Susan, a three lock and dam canal that will open up shipping lanes between the mainland and Greenbank, Langley, and Freeland. We envision hundreds of construction jobs, a mile of new waterfront real estate, dozens more hungry real estate agents, and best of all, the creation of the newest island in the Puget Sound since the glaciers retreated. The South End Island. We are also embarked on a political voyage. Our publicist, Skeeter Daddle, of Daddle Distilleries, is running for county commissioner on a platform of returning Home Rule to Camano. We are extremely active in his highly invisible campaign, but hopeful that with Skeeter in a position of unbridled power, the Elger Bay Canal will become a reality. As I said, there were 11 of us with wives and husbands and groupies as well, so the commissioner seat should be a shoo-in with a minimal amount of get-out-the-vote. The good news is we will once again have a commissioner from Camano. The bad news is that Skeeter was the only yahoo willing to run. So the Band is more than a musical icon. More even than a Juggernaut of Social Conscience. More than a bastion of fiscal sanity in these spend- but- don't- tax times. We are the keepers of the fiddle flames. The historians of the South End Chronicles. Think of us as the South End Chamber of Commerce and the Chapel of Common Sense combined. But with a great driving beat. That's the South End String Band. We're not going anywhere, but we're going there fast. And we're not going quiet. Let’s take a minute or two to introduce our entourage of minstrels here. We usually just pass out resumes and run for the exits, but tonight we’re gonna take some risks. Plus….. the ferry doesn’t leave soon enuff. Wende Hilyard’s our sweet-voiced singin schoolma’arm. If this were a movie, she’d wear gingham and all us roughnecks would take off our hats in her presence. Course, unfortunately, this ain’t and we don’t. Monika DeNasha’s our 5 string banjo and six string guitar.. The combined ages of her vintage collection are older by twice anybody in the band. Except maybe Paul. Paul Platis is on 6 string guitar too. He doesn’t buy vintage instruments, but sadly, they’ve become that….. Rebecca Fletcher’s on hammed dulcimer. …And recently, after the sudden mysterious disappearance of our mandolin player, she’s taken up that instrument too. We don’t pay any attention to the suspicious similarity of those two mandolins and I’m sure old Mike will turn up okay… Someday. John Muhler’s on heavy metal percussion back there. He’s got a kitchen sink you’ll hear later, trust me. Oddly enuff, John never has dishpan hands, tho. Chaim Bezalel’s on an incredibly old autoharp and an ancient 6 string guitar. You ask me, they’re all 3 a match made in heaven. Bill Gum’s on the bass fiddle and a mission to wreck the entire global haberdashery industry. As you can tell, I’m a man with a deep and abiding commitment to my hat, but William has made a mockery of my quiet faith. I might as well come in Bugs Bunny ears from now on. Erich Schweiger’s our concert violinist. He makes em too, that and cellos. I notice when he sells a fiddle to the symphonies he never mentions us. No, it’s violin, all of a sudden. Fiddle? Fat chance. And me, I’m Jack Archibald and I’m mostly here as referee and ringside color commentary. They said I had to carry an instrument so I lug a banjo. |
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